i may or may not be watching the land before time
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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