is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
