Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
