there was a trapeze. enough said
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
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they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
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If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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