I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
