In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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