cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
