u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
