I saw his package. It spoke to me.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
