Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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