? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
