I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
