so that wasnt chicken after all
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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