I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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