she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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