i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
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