You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm always down for nudity.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
