he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
