so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
