It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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