You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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