He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize