He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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