the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
