I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
