I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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