so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm both gender and math confused
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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