everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
