the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize