Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
So many bounce houses so little time
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Randomize
