I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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