Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
stop calling my apartment porn island.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
