go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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