Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
