Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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