You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
