I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
