You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
I am invincible.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.