At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"