We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I can feel your judgement through the phone