we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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