Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
