Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
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