My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
