Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
