Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
