like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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