just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
