they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Randomize
