I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
