i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
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I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
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You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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