I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize