ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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