k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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