I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
