I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
