Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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