It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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