I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
