ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
