I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
barbara walters just said penis...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize