I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
