I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
He uses pillows to masturbate.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
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